Riley Gaines criticizes Alex Cooper and Sophia Bush for promoting disposable marriage

Olympic swimmer Riley Gaines has published a critique of relationship advice recently shared by Call Her Daddy host Alex Cooper and actress Sophia Bush, arguing that their perspectives on marriage constitute a "dangerous recipe for lifelong regret." Gaines contends that the advice, which encourages leaving a marriage if one fears not finding a better partner, reduces long-term commitment to personal optimization and fosters a culture of disposability. The commentary responds to a viral exchange in which Bush suggested that the fear of being too old or unreasonable for wanting more in a relationship is a product of the patriarchy, while Cooper has built her media brand partly by encouraging sexual experimentation in early dating.

Gaines asserts that this worldview treats fleeting dissatisfaction as sufficient reason to abandon commitments, equating the pursuit of more with empowerment. She questions whether the relentless search for excitement or affirmation ultimately leaves individuals feeling they have less, noting that new relationships inevitably encounter the same imperfections as previous ones. The author argues that for decades, women have been sold a vision of liberation centered on prioritizing careers, maximizing independence, and rejecting traditional obligations. While acknowledging that this philosophy has many causes and that attributing all societal issues to feminism would be dishonest, Gaines maintains that ignoring the failure of this philosophy to deliver promised fulfillment is equally foolish.

The critique highlights a perceived contradiction in how sacrifice is viewed. Gaines observes that a woman who sacrifices time and health for corporate advancement is celebrated as ambitious, while a woman making comparable sacrifices for her family is often regarded as having surrendered her potential. She argues that autonomy has become a poor substitute for belonging, leading to pervasive loneliness and social isolation despite technological connectivity. In her own experience, Gaines states that no professional accolade has provided the satisfaction she found in marriage and motherhood, describing these roles as requiring more of her than her competitive swimming career did. She views motherhood not as a limitation on freedom but as a revelation of what freedom is for.

Gaines notes an irony in Cooper's position, as Cooper recently welcomed her first child with her husband while continuing to promote self-prioritization through her media platform. Gaines suggests that motherhood may offer Cooper a similar perspective: that deepest fulfillment is found in loving someone enough to put them first. While acknowledging that marriage and motherhood are not the only paths to meaning and that single or childless women are no less valuable, Gaines argues that lasting meaning generally requires looking beyond oneself. She draws on Christian teachings to argue that a life centered exclusively on the self is ultimately impoverished.

The author distinguishes between legitimate reasons for ending marriages, such as abuse or betrayal, and the reflexive encouragement to search for better options without acknowledging the responsibilities of commitment. Gaines argues that teaching people to keep every option open fails to recognize that meaningful commitments require closing certain doors. She concludes that the "great lie" of modern empowerment is the idea that a life devoted primarily to oneself is the most extraordinary thing one can aspire to. Instead, she urges women to consider that fulfillment is often found in giving more rather than acquiring more, suggesting that the grass is greener where it is watered.